Edward and the Killer Bunnies
by animallover0109
Summary: ok... edward meets a bunch of evil bunnies... um... this is really hard to summarize. plez read, its better than it sounds. PERMANENT HIATUS-pm to take over
1. Chapter 1

AN: Okay, just so you know that I am not crazy, this story is a result of sugar, boredom, and an idiotic Spanish class. This is my first shot at writing a humor story, so don't be too mean. Flames are welcome though.

Oh yeah, a special thanks to my friend Erin who came up with the plot line for me. But she isn't very good at writing so she gave me vague details and had me put everything together. But I am very happy with how this came out. And I'd like to add another thanks to my beta, AmyGirl23, for putting up with this crazy writing while helping me.

Disclaimer: I only own Korey. Sadly I don't own any of the characters from Twilight. :(

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Chapter 1: Edwards Problems

_Edward's POV_

I was out trying to hunt, but I couldn't smell anything at all.

"Hmm… that's odd. Oh well" I continued to try to find any scent at all. An hour later I came across the scent of a bunny, but there was an odd scent mixed in with it.

"Oh well, at least its still food," I said to myself as I followed the trail further away from my house.

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_Korey's POV_

Mwahahahaha! Stupid little Eddie fell for it! Oh yeah, who's smart?

Me! Me! Yay! I danced around the room then went back into hiding. I looked out at the chair, waiting for little Eddie to come in so he would be my mate forever! Screw Bella! Eddie Boy's way too hot to be hanging out with her. He deserves only the best, a.k.a. moi!!

Wait! Here comes Eddie now. He's soooo going to be mine. Mwahahahaha!!

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_Edward's POV_

The bunny's scent led right into an old, creepy looking house. For a minute I was suspicious that something wasn't right, but I was so hungry. I still hadn't found any scents, so I waked into the house to find the bunny.

"Here bunny bunny bunny," I said walking around the front room.

"Here Eddie Eddie Eddie," came a reply.

"What the f?" I yelled. When I turned around I saw that the door was closed and locked.

"Now, now Eddie, weren't you taught **not **to curse in front of a lady? What would Esme say?"

"Stop calling me Eddie!"

"No because your mine now."

"Huh?"

"Sit in the chair and I'll show you."

"Um…. Ok?" I walked over to the chair and sat down.

"Hahaha! Your mine!" A bunny jumped out of the shadows and pressed a button. Then metal strips went over my wrists, ankles, and head so that I couldn't move.

"What the f? This is weird. And who the heck are you?"

"I am Korey! Leader of the Bunnies of Terror! And you will now be one of us! Mwahahahaha!"

"And what if I say no?"

"Well, you have no choice. Not even you could escape that chair." Sure enough, when I tried to get the metal off of me, I couldn't.

"Dang you're good."

"Yes, that I know. Now stay still! You are going to be my new bunny king!"

"Wait, what happened to the old one?"

"Oh, you killed him about a month ago."

"OOOOOOOOOOOH. That would explain why he tasted weird. So what do you want with me?"

"Because. You killed him **and** because you are way too hot for Bella anyways. So, now you're mine!" The crazy bunny hopped up to me and stopped at my foot and then it bit me. "OWW!!! That hurt you stupid furball!"

"Be nice Eddie! For soon you will be a furball too! I mean, Bunny of Terror!!! Mwahahahaha!"

"No! I don't want to be a stupid furball! I said, on the verge of dry sobbing.

"Oh shut up. You're acting like a stupid little cry baby." With that, the stupid 'bunny of terror' hopped out of the room, leaving me to turn into a bunny alone.

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12 hours later, I was a stupid furball, but something wasn't right. I was black, not white.

_Oh my gosh, _I thought, _maybe I'm a ninja bunny!_

And sure enough, I was so I soon escaped from the dreaded house and that stupid white bunny.

I hopped around aimlessly for an hour, but I couldn't find my way home. _Dang it, I'm screwed, _I thought. _Now I'll never see my Bella again. _

I snuck around the forest for another 5 hours, trying some cool ninja moves I had once seen on TV, but somehow I kept face planting. I soon got hungry and went around the forest for a while, trying to find food, but there was nothing for a bunny like me to eat.

"Dang it!" I decided to try going back to the old houses, figuring that the bunny had gone looking for me.

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_Korey's POV_

I hopped back into the room that I had left Edward in, but he was gone.

"Hm… BUNNIES OF TERROR UNITE!" With that, a thousand or so snow white bunnies hopped into the room, filling every single spot of space.

"Our newest member has escaped! We must go find him. There is no telling if he is the bunny who was destined to destroy the world. If he is, then we, the Bunnies of Terror, shall overthrow the human race! I want all of you to split up and search. I will stay here incase he's stupid enough to come back. Any questions?"

A bunny named Jessica raised her hand. "Yes Jess?" I asked her, keeping my voice full of authority.

"Um… do we get a raise?"

"Sure. Whoever brings him back gets an extra carrot!" This was met with a roar of approval. "Now go my Bunnies of Terror! Find that bunny!!"

After they had all left, I thought to myself, _oh my gosh! What if he's the ninja bunny who is supposed to be our downfall? _Oh crap! I went to my secret laboratory and made a batch of poisoned carrots that I could feed him incase he was. Then he would die an instant death. Mwahahahaha!

At that moment, I heard a bunny approaching. Minutes later, a bunny as black as pitch walked into the room. I gasped; it was the evil ninja bunny that would destroy the Bunnies of Terror!

"Oh," I said, careful to keep my voice level, "look who decided to come back. I take it you're hungry?"

"Um… what?"

I looked at him. "I said I take it you're hungry?"

"Um, yeah." With that I hopped up to him and handed him the batch of carrots I had poisoned. "That should last you through today," I said. Then I stood there, waiting for him to eat. He finally started to munch on them. Once he was finished with about half of the batch, he looked up at me.

"Whoa, I feel funny." Not even a second later, his eyes hazed over and he dropped back to the floor, dead.

"YES!!!" I again danced around the room. "I win! YAY!!" all of my minions soon returned and they too started dancing. Soon we started to sing 'We are the Champions.' After a while I went back to the body of Edward and was amazed at what I saw, he looked human again.

"Uh oh, something is terribly wrong. He's supposed to stay in a bunny's body, even though he's dead. Crap, I'm screwed - again."

"Bunnies of Terror flee!!! Something is not right. Go and hide before all of you are destroyed to the point that there are no more bunnies of terror. RUN!!!!"

"AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" a frantic mass of white hopped towards the door. I went back to hiding as I figured out what to do with Edward's body…

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Wow, that took forever to type. I have one question. Should Bella already be a vampire? Yes, this is going to be more than one chapter. Hehe! Anyways, plez r&r and make me super happy, thanks!


	2. Bella's Revenge

AN: Thank you everybody for the reviews. My friend that helped with the plot line finally got and account here. Her penname is oxIrishBella14xo. She's going to start typing up her stories soon… I think. My beta changed her penname to Em'sGirl23. I think that was all I had to say… no wait! Sorry for the long delay! I was in Florida for 5 weeks. Here's the second chapter of this crazy story!

Disclaimer: I only own Korey. Everything else is not mine!

Chapter 2: Bella's Revenge

_Bella's POV_

I was walking in circles in my house. Where the heck was Edward? It had been a full day since he had gone hunting somewhere nearby. I finally couldn't take it anymore. I walked outside and went in the direction that I had seen Edward go yesterday.

I followed his scent for about an hour, and it led towards a creepy looking house. I sniffed again. What the heck?? It smelled like a thousand or so bunnies had been here not too long ago. I then walked into the house, determined to find Edward.

I looked around and saw… nothing. There was nothing in the room, not even furniture. When I sniffed again I found another bunny's scent. This one was much fresher by the others. In fact, the bunny wasn't far away. I looked around the room and found a doorway. I walked in to what looked like a laboratory.

In the center was a desk. In the chair behind it, looking straight at me was a snowy white bunny.

"Where is Edward?" I growled, fighting the urge to kill the rabbit that instant.

The bunny merely looked at me like I was stupid. "And why the heck would I tell you?"

"Because if you don't," I replied, "I won't hesitate to kill you." That startled the smug bunny.

"Um…uh…I….he…"

"Come on! I don't have all day!"

"Yes you do and you know it," it replied smugly. It was really getting on my nerves now.

"Watch it you stupid fur ball," I growled. "Tell me where Edward is!!!"

"Okay, but you really don't want to know."

"Tell me," I demanded. What little patience that I had left was gone. I was pretty sure that by now my eyes were pitch black with no sign of topaz at all.

"Fine," it said, "Behind the house you will find a mound of dirt. He is underneath the dirt. Oh, good luck getting him out. I'm not sure how well that box held underneath the dirt."

"WHAT?!?! YOU KILLED HIM???" I lunged at the bunny. "You killed him you fricking fur ball!?!?!?!?"

"Yeah, so?"

"So I was supposed to spend eternity with him!! LITERALLY!"

"Oh boo hoo. Get over it. Find some other vampire to replace him. I'm replacing my bunny king so you can replace your boyfriend. It's not that hard, really." It sounded so smug that it took me everything I had not to snap its neck before I said what I had to say.

"You f bitch! You should be a dog not a bunny. Female dogs are always called bitches, and that's exactly what you are!"

"So what," it replied. "I could care less what you, or anybody else for that matter, call me."

"Well I guess I'll get my revenge."

"Not before I get MINE!" it yelled right back.

"Why?" I asked. "What did I do?"

"Nothing really," it replied. "I just don't like you."

"Then that's not really revenge. Why do fur ball's have to be so stupid?"

"I'm not a fur ball! I am the leader of the Bunnies of Terror!!"

"Not any more," I said as I snapped its neck. Instantly the eyes glazed over and it let out its last breath. "Bye bitch," I said as I dropped it. I then walked to the back of the house to where the pile of dirt was. I found Edward's ashes in the box, which had thankfully held up. I picked up the box and found a shovel.

I went to the small cemetery in Forks and I dug a small hole. I set the box down in it. "Goodbye Edward," I said as I pushed the dirt back over it. Damn, I really wish I could cry, but I can't. Stupid, vampire traits. I started to walk back to where the Cullens and I lived, but I didn't feel like explaining that Edward was never coming back just because of one stupid, demented bunny. I turned and went to the house where I had lived with Charlie for the last few years of my human life.

Charlie thankfully wasn't home. He was at Billy's house watching a game. I topped into his thoughts and saw that he was spending the night at Billy's. That meant that I could stay here longer and hope to avoid the Cullen's.

I sat on my old bed and let the dry sobs shake my body…

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AN: so there's chapter 2! YAY!! Thank you to anybody who reviewed. Here is a little guessing game. What do you think will happen in the next chapter? If anybody guesses right then the next chapter is dedicated to them. Plez review!!!


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Thank you sooo much for all of the reviews. And here are all the people that guessed what would happen correctly.

This chappie is dedicated to you!

Disclaimer: I only own George and Kevin. I sadly do not own any characters you recognize.

Chapter 3: Back from the Dead

_Bella's POV_

I was sitting in the meadow where Edward had first shown me what the sun did to him, when I heard a noise. It sounded like a big animal moving around, but it smelled horrible. Then I recognized the scent, it was a werewolf.

I stood up as the wolf stepped into the light. It was a russet colored wolf. There was only 1 russet colored wolf in the La Push gang. That wolf was none other than Jacob Black.

"Jake?"

"Bella… I… uh... It's not safe here. The rest of the pack is coming. We're looking for the red-head but they're still mad at you for becoming a vampire. Go somewhere safe Bella."

"But…"

"No Bella, go."

"Fine Jake. I hope I never see you again. I'll lose my best friend and my boyfriend in the same day. Then again, it's not like you would care," I snapped. I just couldn't take it anymore. I turned and ran.

"Bella, wait!"

_No Bella, don't wait for him. He's losing it._

'Oh crap, now I'm going crazy! The voice is back! Oh crud.' I continued to run, hoping the voice would leave. It didn't.

_Good job Bella. You can stop now. Jake isn't following you anymore. _

"AH! Crap, go away stupid voice! Great, now I'm talking to myself. This is just wonderful. I'm going crazy again!" I ran as fast as I could to the cemetery. Once I got there, I sat by Edward's grave.

"Edward, I'm sorry but I can't keep my promise. I can't live without you. I'm going nuts Edward, I'm sorry." I turned and ran back to the meadow, knowing that the werewolves were there. They would surely kill me, and that was what I wanted.

When I got there I saw all of them sitting in their human forms, talking. They all stood up as soon as they saw me.

"Wait," I said when I saw them begin to shake. "Before you kill me, promise me one thing. Bury me by Edward in Forks Cemetery." I said it quickly, but it seemed that they understood me. They all had looks of disbelief on their faces. None of them seemed to know that Edward was dead. Not even Jake had thought I meant that he was dead; he had presumed that he had left me.

"Please," I said.

Paul then couldn't control himself anymore. He exploded into a grey werewolf and pounced at me. I closed my eyes, waiting for the impact. It came, and there was a moment of pain before blackness surrounded me for the final time…

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_George's POV_

I was sitting in a small cemetery in Forks, Washington. I knew that I could bring people back to life, but I didn't know how. I stood back up and wandered around to the graves of various people. The first 3 I found were too old to be worth bringing back to life, but the last two were perfect.

The first was of an 18 year old girl, and the second of a 19 year old boy. Both graves were well taken care of, and by the looks of them they had been buried one after the other. I looked at the description of the first grave, and I stopped when I got to the boy's name: Edward Cullen. I gasped. All vampires knew who the Cullen's were; they were the largest group of vegetarian vampires in the world. Why would a vampire be buried in a human cemetery? I sat by his grave and decided that I would try to bring him back to 'life'. He wouldn't really be alive though, technically vampires aren't alive, we are just… there.

I sat there for at least 5 hours, trying to bring him back to life, but I couldn't. By now my mind was wandering and I was losing my concentration. A minute later the ground beside me moved. I jumped backwards, scared. Then dirt flew everywhere and I stood up and stood next to the grave. Inside a person was just standing up and brushing himself off. He then jumped out of the hole and looked at me.

"That was weird," he said. "One minute I'm dead, and the next I'm alive. There something wrong with that."

"No there isn't. My special power is the ability to bring people back from the dead."

"Wow, awesome." He turned around and took a step forward, but stopped when he saw the gravestone in front of him. He knelt down and stared at the gravestone. "No," he whispered. "Not Bella, anyone but Bella."

I just stood there, unsure of what to do. He continued saying those same words over and over again. Then he snapped. "NO!" He ran off and I could hear trees snapping in the distance.

_Wow, _I thought, _somebody's got a temper. _

"I do not." I turned around and saw Edward standing behind me. _Huh? I didn't say that out loud, did I?_

"No, you didn't."

"Huh? I'm confused."

"Ugh, I can read minds."

"Oh, that explains a lot." I just sat there, waiting for him to ask me that dreaded question. I really wished he wouldn't, but of course, he did.

"Can you bring Bella back from the dead?"

"Um, about that," I said warily.

He looked at me, "what?"

"Well, when I brought you back it was sort of an accident. I mean, I was trying to bring you back, but I was zoning out when I brought you back. I can only concentrate for so long."

"So you're saying that you can't bring Bella back!?!?!?" By now he was practically yelling in my face.

"Well, I could but I don't know exactly how. And if I randomly tried different things then I might do more harm than good. It's a miracle I was able to bring you back to life."

"Great, just great. Bella kills herself to be with me and then I'm brought back to life by an amateur vampire that doesn't know what he's doing AND that certain vampire can't bring Bella back from the dead. This is just perfect!" The sarcasm was heavy in his voice, but there wasn't anything I could do. He stomped around, but soon came back and knelt by Bella's grave.

"Well," I began, "We could try to find somebody that CAN bring Bella back. I'm sure there's at least one other vampire that has the same power as me."

He stared blankly at me for a minute. "Do you know what? That just might work. Let's go."

"Wait, already? Aren't you going to tell your family that you're alive?"

"Um… I'll call them later. There has to be a phone somewhere." He then got up and started running. I followed and was barely able to keep him in my sight. When we were in sight of the airport, we slowed down and I was finally able to catch up. He looked at the flights that were scheduled to leave soon and booked one of the flights soon after. I scanned the ticket and quickly saw the destination, Italy.

"Um, Edward? Are you sure that Italy's a good choice?"

"Well, it's the easiest way to find the right vampire. There are plenty of Volturi guards that aren't loyal. One of them is bound to have the right power."

I sighed, "If that's what you really want to do."

"It is. The sooner I can get my Bella back, the sooner my life can be normal again." He then walked towards what I guessed was our departure area.

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5 hours later we were in Italy. Edward stole some kind of fast car that I had never even heard of. I could tell that it had cost a lot of money. Hopefully the owner would be able to get it back. Edward was going well over 100mph towards Volterra.

We pulled up to the outside walls less than an hour later. We looked around, and didn't see any guards, so we hopped out of the car. We decided to look around the surrounding forest because surely someone that wasn't loyal wouldn't feed off of humans. We walked around for hours, trying to find any other vampire. We finally found a large group of them. All of them had topaz eyes, but were wearing the Volturi cloaks.

I watched as Edward went and talked to them. Even with my good hearing I couldn't make out what they were saying. After a few minutes Edward came back with one of the vampires.

"George-Kevin, Kevin-George. Okay? Let's go." We ran back towards where we had left the car and Kevin followed close behind. We were soon at the car. Edward went to the driver's seat, I to the passengers, and Kevin to the backseat.

We drove in silence to the airport. Edward quickly booked a flight back to Washington and boarded our flight.

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6 hours later we were at Forks Cemetery. Kevin and Edward were at Bella's grave and I hung back. I had nowhere to go, and nothing to do, so I waited. Then dirt flew everywhere, spraying Edward, Kevin and I.

Then a beautiful vampire sat up. She had medium length, light brown hair. Her eyes were pitch black and were filled with confusion. "What…what happened?"

Edward, Kevin and I each opened our mouths to tell her, but were interrupted by a voice behind us. "Kevin, plotting against us? Disobeying us? What's next?" We whipped and saw Marcus, Caius, and Aro standing in a row. _Oh snap, _I thought, _Volturi! _Kevin just stared, open-mouthed, as did Bella.

"What," Aro said while walking up to him. "You didn't think we'd figure everything out? The group of traitors in the forest? The plot against us? Well you were wrong. We figured it all out."

Kevin began backing away, but Aro grabbed his arm. "Nobody will get away with something like that. Not now, not ever." With that Aro and the other Volturi members dragged him away from us, towards the forest. Moments later we could smell smoke, Kevin was dead. Nothing needed to be said, well, somebody had to tell Bella what had happened when she was dead. So the three of us sat and Edward and I took turns telling Bella everything that had happened.

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_3 hours later_

_Korey's POV_

I hopped around the forest, planning on how to once again get Edward to be mine. I found a blonde-haired boy who was on his way to the cemetery. I watched him from the shadows. He stopped at Bella's grave. How I despised that girl. I then hopped up to the boy.

"Hey you, boy." The boy turned and looked around, not even looking at me.

"Down here," I said, growing impatient. He looked down at the ground at me and his eyes got really big.

"What the f?!?!? A talking bunny?!?! The world is coming to an end!"

"Hey! Be nice to the bunny," I said. "If you are nice and everything goes well, you can be with Bella."

"But…but she's dead."

"Actually, she's not. It's a long story, but she's very much alive."

"Huh?" I sighed and began to tell him what had happened, and I told him my diabolical plan.

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AN: Dang that took me forever to type!! It's over 5 pages! That's probably the longest chapter I ever wrote. I am soooo tired of staring at this computer screen now. O well. I hope you liked it. Plez review!!!


	4. Chapter 4

AN: The Cubs lost!! WAAAAAAA!!! I was supposed to go to the fourth game but they lost the first three so I couldn't go!!! Soooo not fair. ( anyways… here's ur next chappie.

Disclaimer: I only own George.

Chapter 4: Sweet Success

_Edward's POV_

I was walking with Bella and George back to the house. We were trying to figure out how to tell everyone that Bella and I were alive after being dead for 3 days. We argued for a while until George came up with a plan. When we got to the house, Bella and I went through the window to our room while George went to the front door. Hopefully this wouldn't scare the crap out of everyone. Bella and I sat on the bed while George rang the doorbell…

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_George POV_

I watched as Edward and Bella went through the bedroom window. Ass soon as they were inside, I rang the doorbell and waited. A split second later, the door opened to reveal a short, pixie-like girl with spiky black hair.

"Yes?" Even though her voice was level, I could tell that she was depressed. I just hoped that this would work.

"Hi, I'm George McZee. I have some information about your family members, Edward Cullen and Isabella Swan that you may like to know."

She dragged me into the house and yelled for the rest of the family. In a split second, everyone was there, minus Bella and Edward. _Oh crap, _I thought, _what should I say? _They all introduced themselves. Then Alice, the one that had answered the door, looked at me. "George here said that he had information about Edward and Bella."

They all stared at me, waiting for me to talk. I started my story. When I got past Bella coming back to life, they were all staring at me in shock and disbelief. The big one, Emmett I think, was the first to break the silence. "Huh?"

Then Rosalie glared at me. "You're lying. You're just here to make us suffer, to make us get our hopes up only to have them crushed."

That was just what I had suspected someone would say. "Oh yeah? I'll prove that my story is true." I then got up and walked towards the staircase and walked to Edward and Bella's room. I paused to make sure that the whole family had followed me, and they had. I opened the door and stepped in, but Edward and Bella weren't there.

I turned around and saw the whole family glaring at me. Emmett started to growl, but I grinned as I saw the two people who had snuck into the room behind the family, Edward and Bella.

He stopped when he saw me smiling. The family gave me questioning looks, but I just watched as Bella and Edward stood there, waiting for somebody to turn around. Esme looked as if she would cry if she was able to. She was the first to turn around and she gasped. The others then whirled around. When they saw who was there, they just stood in shock.

Esme was the first to recover. She glided across the last few feet separating them and enveloped both of them in a hug. As the others went up to Edward and Bella, I went downstairs because I had no place in this family reunion.

I sat there; debating whether or not to stay with the Cullen's or try to find my own place. I decided to get a place somewhere else. I had no place in this family, and I never would. I got up and walked out the front door, leaving the now happy family behind.

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_Edward's POV_

It had been about a week since Bella and I had been brought back to 'life.' George had left, but I didn't know why. We didn't try to find him, figuring that he had something else to do instead of remaining with my family and I.

Bella and I both needed to hunt, so we went a little way into the woods surrounding the house. After a while I came across a scent. Instantly, Bella and I stiffened; the bunny leader was back. After a moment of hesitation, Bella and I followed the scent, determined to get rid of the bunny once and for all.

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Bella and I came to a place where the scent split 2 different ways. I went left, and she went right. I continued on for about 3 hours. Just before I was about to give up, the scent became stronger. It led into a 2 story house. I walked in, ready to pounce, but I froze in the doorway. The bunny was standing in the middle of the room with a match. Lying on the ground at her feet was Bella's still, lifeless body.

"Hello Eddie, nice to see you again." I growled at the bunny, waiting for the right time to pounce. "Now Eddie, you wouldn't want me to drop the match would you?" I shook my head. "Oh well, too bad," the bunny said while dropping the match onto Bella's body.

"No!" I ran to Bella, but she was already turning to ashes. "NO!" it couldn't be. I had just gotten her back. This was unreal. I ran around the room, busting everything that I could get my hands on. I was so angry that I didn't notice when the bunny had left the room. After a while, I just sat and stared at the ashes for hours. When I looked down at myself, I saw that I was yet again a bunny as black as pitch.

_Oh well, _I thought, _what's the point in fighting? Bella's dead and George and Kevin aren't here to bring her back. I guess I'll just be a bunny until I die. _And so I sat there by Bella's ashes, watching bunnies walking past me doing who knows what.

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AN: this is actually a little more than half of the chapter, but im out of time to type. I have to go clean the house. ( Anyways… Plez review. The more reviews I get, the faster I will put up the second half of the chapter. PLEZ REVIEW!!!


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